When I was a boy, I went to my school library and got a book about the American presidents. This was some years ago of course so it only went up through Kennedy or perhaps Lyndon Johnson. Each president was represented by a few photographs and some biographical information. I saw that there were only Republicans and Democrats from Lincoln onward, and decided that I must be one of the two. My favorite presidents were Lincoln, Grant, Theorodore Roosevelt, Eisenhower and Kennedy, so I decided I must be a Republican, four to one after all.
I went home after school that day and asked my father whether he was a Republican or a Democrat. "I'm a Republican," he said to my relief. He told me that his father, an Italian immigrant with a very Mediterranean appearance and a strong accent in English, came to America and found a Democratic Party dominated by Irishmen who had no love for the Italians. He became a loyal Republican and was even president of his local Republican Party.
When I got to high school, I came to believe that I should think this politics and economics business through for myself and I briefly thought of myself as a socialist. After further reading and consideration I determined, as a senior, that I was a Libertarian and I have remained Libertarian for 35 years.
As a young man, it seemed to me an important thing to embrace the most coherent philosophy, the most correct philosophy, the one that was the most humanistic. I reasoned that since the Right only thinks you should have one set of freedoms, and the left thinks you should only have another different set of freedoms, these two philosophies must be predicated on a contempt for mankind, and I still believe this concept to be true. After all, if you believe that Mankind is basically good, why must humans be controlled by the State? While I was a senior in high school I watched a television debate between a liberal atheist and a conservative evangelical minister. In he end the only thing they could agree on was that Mankind is basically Evil. Paradoxically, both say they love Mankind. Well I say if you love Mankind and you believe we are Evil, then you love Evil and you yourself are Evil! I do not believe we should give Evil people power over us by electing them to public office.
So for many years I have lived on the lonely, rocky outpost of Libertarianism, nonetheless secure in the knowledge that I have researched the philosophies and I have chosen the correct one, the superior one, the most internally consistent one. As I have grown into an old silverback male gorilla, though, it seems a lot less important to me how right I am and how wrong everyone else is.
How nice it would be, I thought, to be a Liberal Democrat! I could have intellectual friends and go to stimulating cocktail parties and talk about thought provoking books. I would not have to apologize for a love of learning and admiration for the French. Being a Federal Employee, I would share my philosophy with most of the people I work with, and I would finally be a part of something bigger than myself. Maybe then I would have the one thing that has eluded me my entire life, a sense of belonging. My Liberal Democrat friends would welcome me as one of their own, and our relationships would be deeper than I thought possible.
On the other hand, I could be a Conservative Republican! I would have industrious, successful friends who yearn to be unencumbered by socialist utopianism. I'd go to relaxing backyard barbecues and talk about investment and home repair and pass the time with people to whom I need not apologize for my belief in God and my Farmer's Almanac values. And I'd have that thing that has eluded my me entire life, a sense of belonging, and my Conservative Republican friends would embrace me as one of them and suddenly I'd be connected to people in a way I never been before.
So I thought about changing into something much more conventional; now that I am a silverback, connectedness seems more important than being right. But then I realized that I cannot be a Liberal Democrat, because I cannot mobilize bitter hatred for Conservative Republicans. And I cannot be a Conservative Republican, because I do not harbor scorching contempt for Liberal Democrats. Often I hear Conservatives say horrible things about Liberals, and the Liberals react with indignation and shock. And yet, when Liberals say equally terrible things about Conservatives, the utter lack of of a sense of fairness is completely invisible to them. Similarly, when Liberals malign Conservatives, the latter react with astonishment, as if they are not just as guilty as their mirror-image Liberals. This idiocy is all the stranger to a Libertarian, to whom Liberalism and Conservatism seem so similar.
So I suppose I will live as I have lived, on this cold and windy philosophical outpost, believed to be insane by the vast majority of people. I'll just continue to mumble to myself and dream of a Libertarian non-Utopia and pretend that the non-Libertarian Utopians can get along. I guess I'll never get close enough to find out otherwise.
Copyright 2010 Albanese Presentations
